Well today was better. Tomorrow is my last day of school which just makes everything better. I went to my honor board meeting today after school and didn't get an "honor code offense" so it won't be on my record and I'm not in any trouble. They said I didn't lie about anything, but I still skipped class, so I have detention tomorrow after school. Which is perfectly fine with me because I'll use it to study for exams. I went and signed up for all my dance classes for next year, and I'm excited about them. Some will be challenging but I can't waitt, I love dance. I've been doing it since I was like 2 and they put me in little yellow chick tutu's (: It's really not easy trying to fast when i'm at home every night. My mom always cooks dinner and she would start suspecting things if I didn't eat for like 4 days straight. It should be alot easier in the summertime though cos I won't be at home a lot. Ah I just need to really study for exams and do well on them, and then I'll be done with school! I'm so excited to get away from this school and this town for awhile. God this girl at school said something to me today and it just set me off. I was putting some Special K energy mix in my water and she comes over and starts lecturing me about how much to put it and blah blah. And then she takes it from me and goes OH MY GOD THERE'S 30 CALORIES IN THIS? EW. And she's not even thin at alll. She's really obsessed with everything she eats and talks about it nonstop. Thats all the can ever talk about. How many calories something has and how fatty it is and how much she's eaten today and how she's on a diet. I get so sick of it. I mean obviously I'm trying to lose weight too and worry about what I eat but i don't talk about it nonstop and let everyone know how I feel about my weight and all that shit. Hah well enough venting. I need to go studdyy. I read the first 11 chapters of Wintergirls and it's amazing so far, but I don't want to finish it really quickly so I put it on my bookshelf and I'm not letting myself read any more until after exams are over. Next wednesday afternoon I'll be reading like crazy. Ew I'm so fat, it grosses me out. I feel awful. I'm fasting tomorrow and friday and saturday to start with. I promise. And if I break the fast at all I'm not eating more than 100 calories at the most.
Allowing yourself a back up plan may seem like a good idea, but in reality it's just giving you an excuse to mess up your original plan.
ReplyDeleteI know I know. I'm going fast. I just want to make sure I don't completely mess up. But you're completely right, thank you. I won't mess up. I promise you (:
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